Friday, October 28, 2005
"honestly darling, so you've been taken for a joyride, and now that you've learnt your lesson, though for the umpteenth time, it's never too late darling. it's okay darling, it's okay!"
the troops are battle-weary, almost all the fight's been beaten out of them, plenty of them men are down, all that remain are those wonderous lucky few, embedded deep within the troops, kept safely buoyant, thankfully protected, from the battle that raged outside. the troops worked and moved as one, led by different leaders who resurfaced time to time to command operations. right now, more than ever, the troops needed one particular leader, who has so far lay dormant within their midst...where was she? the troops murmured frantically, where was she? the troops yearned for her as one. was she still alive?
she was, she was! the troops surged to their feet at her call.
supero dux ducis, they obeyed and heeded her every command and direction..
"see darling, i told you it's going to be okay, they don't appreciate you for you. it's not them, really, it's just you. you know how you always want what you can never have?"
"you do know you never wanted them in the first place, don't you? and the faster you admit that about yourself, the faster you move on. trust me darling, you know i'm never wrong." Friday, October 21, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
don't mess with me please.
i am not just any girl, any woman.
i am intriguing, i am different, and i am so very precious.
so please dont let me go, don't give up on knowing me for the real me. Monday, October 17, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
phwoa that really scared me!
so what was it that came over me?
' am i fallin' in too deep?'
a well-oiled machine, the troops begin to retreat and pull back in. puting back on the defenses was easy, the troops do so in a rush, and a loud clang. the troops know, if they don't do so quick, next time they might not be so lucky.
it's okay darling, it's okay.
'she waves goodbye on a runaway train.' Sunday, October 16, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
close your eyes so you don't feel them
they don't need to see you cry
i can't promise i will heal you
but if you want to i will try to
sing this summer seranade
the past is done, we've been betrayed, it's true.
some might say the truth will out,
but i believe without a doubt in you.
you were there for summer dreaming
and you gave me what i need and i hope you
find your freedom for eternity
we sat and watched the sun go down
then picked a star before we lost the moon
youth is wasted on the young
before you know it's come and gone, too soon
you were there for summer dreaming
and you are a friend indeed and i hope you
find your freedom eventually
for eternity. Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
there has never been a face put to all the posts published on this blog
so here goes, this is the mind/soul behind all the rants & ramblings infecting this cyberspace for the past three years.
this is me. a picture speaks a thousand words, so does this?
is this what they all remember when they think of me?
in all the vanity of my self-potraits, this is the only picture i feel captures a little of me, minli.
i am minli. that's me. that's how i look like. do i look like this to you too?
so we're sitting side by side,
freezing and thinking when's this going to end.
we're sitting side by side,
and true so i've got you by my side,
but i can't reach you.
there's so little i might
ask of you, so much i might give
you, like irony it is,
have so little to give, and ask of
me more than anyone else ever did.
won't you rid yourself of that clingwrap
you've got bound around you,
it might look like new,
but all it will ever do, is to bind you.
when a breath of fresh air hits you
once you've broken out of your clingwrap prison
you'll finally understand what i meant
when i said you'd find a brand new you,
one self you were meant to know and explore.
so then if you ventured out on this trip
and found yourself raw and tender to the world
and found how colour and intrigue do you no good
you could retreat to your clingwrap prison
and watch how the world outside you
snub you on the nose and pass you by,
all because you choose to stay
stay in your comfort zone, bound & shackled
forever experiencing life
fuzzily, distortedly,
through your layer of suffocating
clingwrap jail. Friday, October 07, 2005
Friday, October 07, 2005
you know what i really think?
with her, and with me, and with everyone else after us, it's going to be the same, you're going to think about the same problems, worry about the same issues, and in that recurring process hurt more people along the way. it is going to happen again and again, with girl after girl after girl, until a special someone comes along.
you will like her so much, and suddenly all the issues that stood in your way, stuck in your mind when you're with the others won't stop you at all, because then you will find you are totally insanely in like with her.
and don't you dare give me all that bs about how you would never allow yourself to fall in like that way again, because, trust me, someone special might just come along.
now see that's what she did to you when she played you like a fool. she didn't just betray you you know, she also changed you, more than you'll ever know, or even realise. you might welcome this change, and think to yourself, ' i am stronger now'. but the truth is it's just sad, in every way, this change in you.
you might think you're stronger, because now you'd not allow anyone in your life to mean that much to you anymore, or care for them enough to let them have the ability to hurt you. yet in doing so, you unwittingly hurt those who care for you. because you're a nice guy, you would just let them like you and then things just get out of hand and you end up hurting them even more.
it's just sad don't you think?what she did to you? she made sure you'd never harbour the thought of being attracted to someone without first filtering her through all that protective membranes you've got in place to protect your heart.
that's why you hurt her, and that's why you'd go on hurting others until you finally fall like crazy for that someone special. if that someone special don't happen, you'd just continue being a player (though you'd genuinely not think yourself one) for a long time to come. if she happens, then i do hope it'll be something wonderful, and i do hope things work out. otherwise, it'll be sad how that soft you, now a harder you, will become someone so hard no one could ever get close enough to get under your skin.
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PS: hmmmmm....i would luuuuurrrvvvveee to get under your skin haha!
PS: you know what i really think? i really think i need to get to know you betterrrrrr :) Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
it's a new skin, i sort of like it, less clicking, more scrolling.
i miss you.
had a real tiring day today, and well, my left eye keeps twitching, either someone's been missing me, or someone's been saying something real nasty about me behind my back.
knowing me, it's probably the latter; why would anyone miss me anyway?
but i am taking things slow, one step at a time, and here are somethings that keep me going.
miss you i do.
