Friday, March 31, 2006
Friday, March 31, 2006
like with all the changes that have taken place deep within of minli, i dont really remember exactly when i started fearing change so much. i used to be all for change, change! variety, variety! the new, the fresh, the different!
and like with all of life's revelations, it occurred to me suddenly that i have been milling around in the comfort zone for quite a long time now...
/: i suppose i will never be happy until i embrace change as the only other constant (the other's Him) in life.
so i say to hell with V for Vendetta, i want C for Change.
as for the answer to your question, it's the same for when the uncle asks me whether i want more soursop fruit in my soursoplemonjuice.
more please!
Monday, March 27, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
inspired by siew, who treated me to apple soup, abalone on fri, i have decided to let you guys in on my secret.
i am a Full House fanatic. (for those who didnt catch that, read: Full House = korean drama with Rain and Song Hue-jyuo, k girl who shot to stardom in Qiu Tian De Tong Hua)
like miss siew, i am not one who watches korean drama serials, especially if it is one of those teenage trashy types. but Full House, it made me laugh, it gave me something to look forward to at the end of a lousy day. like johnny depp, it made me happy for a little while. Full House injects hope into my otherwise cynical existence! hurhur.
so i got siew addicted to Full House. i love doing this to her, just like i got her loving Xiao Long Baos, Ding Tai Fung style. for those who know her, she doesnt consume anything remotely pork! so that's a great achievement HURHUR. i like getting her addicted to things i like (:
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006

happy birthday nurseeeeeeeeee. i am sorry. things will get better, i promise ok?
johnny depp went missing. he has been missing since sat morning, i am so worried i really dont know what to do.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
desperado
why don't you come to your senses
you've been out riding fences for so long now
oh you're a hard one
but i know that you've got your reason
these things that are pleasing you
will hurt you somehow
don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy
she beats you if she's able
the queen of hearts is always your best bet
and it seems to me that some fine things have been
laid upon your table
but you only want the ones you can't get
desperado
oh you aint getting no younger
your pain and your hunger is driving you home
freedom oh freedom
well that's just some people talking
you're the prisoner walkng
through this world all alone
and as my fingers inch forward, closer and closer, i thought of my promise to you, so i looked the other way.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006

that's 1 to minli, NIL to photoshop. hurhur.
i miss you so much it hurts.
i am craving refreshing soursweet iced soursop lemon drink.
dawn you have no idea how much you can move me with your posts. you've been more honest with blogging than you've ever been with me. which is kind of quirky isn't it?
i keep reminding myself, 'fighting!fighting!'.
life is a whole series of picking up the pieces that have scattered along the way and putting them back in place. you might like to think of life as a room. you keep tidying up, placing all the things back in their right places, but the room keeps getting messy and untidy after you've lived in it for a while. i fight to muster enough energy so i can keep everything in its place.
brushfire fairytales, itsy bitsy diamond wells
big fat hurricanes yellow bellied given names
well shortcuts can slow you down
and in the end we're bound to rebound off of we
well dust off your thinking caps
solar powered plastic plants, pretty pictures of things we ate
we are only what we hate
but in the long run we have found
silent films are full of sound, inaudibly free
slow down everyone you're moving too fast
frames can't catch you when you're moving like that
inaudible melodies serve narrational strategies
unobtrusive tones help to notice nothing but the zone
of visual relevancy.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
thanks for the reminder dear old friend, i didnt realise my blog, once a safe haven for thoughts and feelings, is now an emptyheaded photowhoring site. i supposed i had better revert to the old minli; i suspect i might have been struggling to fit into a mould that was never meant for the likes of me.
you see the only thing you did to me, or rather, for me, was to make me feel like i needed to be a minli i hadnt been for a few years. a minli before she realised she was fat, a minli before the day she woke up and found she had misplaced Confidence, fell into Emotional Decadence, and somehow let Depression and Negativity wield the reins of life.
i strived to become that minli before it all, who would have been minli now, who would have been just
almost perfect; i almost always never strive for perfect anyway. she would have been one who had the almost perfect life, almost perfect friends, almost perfect family.
you made me feel like i needed to be her, because you are who you are and i wanted to be worthy of you. i thought i saw you as the epitome of what i wanted to become, but perhaps i merely felt you could help me become that minli i've been trying to dredge up from the remnants of a scattered life.
you know you did that for me, you always make me feel that the almost perfect life was something i needed to be complete, to be worthy, of whatever, whoever. you helped me see that, in order to become this minli, i had to give up some things so intrinsically me.
so i have tried, to suppress all of that, and i have kept up the pretense long enough now that i know, i have to let you go. i cannot be this minli anymore. maybe one day when i have sorted life out into all its separate little compartments, i'll come back and give being this minli another try. right now, i am just tired, i should go take a long walk, feel the breeze on my face, and taste again what freedom is like. the freedom from a useless yearning to become someone you are not.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
i know who i want to take me home
take me home
i realised i have been letting them pictures do the talking for quite a while now. ever since i got my baby back i have been really trigger-happy. ernest keeps whining ' photo whore!' 'photowhore!' in my ear; but every time i take a photo he snatches the phone away from me to see whether he looks fat.
i had this amazing realisation: i havent had make-up on in a long long time! it's not like i use alot of makeup usually, but take a look at all them photos on my blog. blemishes, eye bags, the works! for all to see on my barebare makeupless skin \:
anyway please, everyone go catch nanny mcphee. it's my kind of feel good movie, you know the usual doses of laughs at the right intervals topped off with a happy ending sort.
aight photo updates. i've been too busy lately and uploading pictures is a breeze compared to penning my thoughts coherently enough so you lesser beings out there can enjoy the works of my sophisticated superior intellect. hur hur (ps: that's my fav laugh now. hur hur. kind of sheepish and cheeky (: ~ me! hurhurhur.)
Friday, March 10, 2006
Friday, March 10, 2006
i can't wait to pick up my one piece only buys from the bazaar today. sadly i can only get them sometime next week, because i asked for link extensions and it being handmade they probably need to get it back to their shop instead of doing it right on the spot.
i spent the day at the office of admissions. spoke to ms poon (reminds me of RJC Ms Poon a.k.a the SHE MAN) who's in charge of all transfers and admissions. seems like it is all up to fate this time.again. what's new.
i made myself a promise that day, no more fights, no more emotional breakdowns and silly tantrums. no more kickin at the wall, pounding my forehead. the constant migraines are alarm bells going off in my head, no pun intended. so i shall stand by my promise, no giving in to tantrums and fits, especially not tonight. especially not when we have a Battle with FNA MCQs tomorrow.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
i cut my hair remember?just thought i'd do a before and after. guess which is which.

there are differing opinions on my hair; currently the opinions are divided amongst those who see no difference, and others who tell me it's short, not wispy enough so i look fat\:
but it's just a bunch of dead cells i am not going to let it bother me.
besides, my hair grows at the speed of light. hurhur.
i was whiny today\: sorry sorry sorry.
i am trying very hard to like my hair. really! honestly!i know i know, hair's trivial no biggie yadayada. but my hair is the prettiest part of my body. or rather the ONLY pretty part of my body. so i do wish it will grow faster and be pretty again.
and again, it might be trivial, but it bothers me, so say something nice and make me feel better ok?
say hi to johnny depp. most recent occupant of d2. i hate him and i love him and i cant make up my mind.

yeuch-ouch 'take what we want get what we need stop crying our eyes out.' the troops are at it again. they are crowding the Memories out, shovels after shovels of slush sluiced over the Memories, yeuch-ouch yeuch-ouch. with every shovelful returned a little more of Pride. goodbye Memories, hello Pride. which one more welcome, the coming or the leaving, they could not decide.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Sunday, March 05, 2006
how the hell do you expect me to concentrate?how the hell do you expect me to do my work and study when i am woken up in the middle of the night?when the only reprieve i have i spend arguing with you?wrking myself up into a frenzy?it is really taking a toll on me. you are taking a toll on me you understand?why cant you understand? i ccant sleep in peace, i cant go to class without worrying about checking the FUCKING PHONE just in case you are in one of your moods!so it's my fault, i am a slut, a whore, a useless piece of nothing, so i screwed up, made a mistake, fucked up! SO I AM ALL THAT! BUT I AM TRYING TO FUCKING GET MY LIFE BACK INTO ORDER YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! AND IT DOESN'T HELP THAT I DO NOT GET SLEEP, I CANNOT STUDY I SPEND ALL MY TIME ARGUING AND SHOUTING AND SCREAMING AND HYPERVENTILATING! YOU UNDERSTAND?IT DOESN'T HELP!IT DOESN'T HELP!so please, stop it i beg you, i am so tired. i really really am. no more.
and i am immediately contrite about my outburst. \:
i cut my hair, and now i look horrid. bah.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Friday, March 03, 2006
it is unfair how i am put through hell if i am late for even five minutes, and my parents get away with being late for 2 HOURS by buying breakfast (they say).
so the stipulated time was 0800h sunday morning. they were supposed to come by 8 and i was supposed to be ready by 8, and trust me i have been slapped on the wrist a million times for appearing half asleep when my parents come a-knocking, or rather, a-banging on my door.
so i got all geared up, get set ready to go!!!
(besides i just got my $11 sunglasses and am anxious to wear them whenever, wherever!)

0815h, daddy tinkled 'ETA 0830h', which in daddy lingo meant the Estimated Time of Arrival will be at eight thirty instead. so i waited. hah... ...
0930h, 1 hour later i was going crazy! WHERE WERE THEY??!! but still feeling happy enough to occupy myself with my new sunglasses! i discovered a new way to wear them~ on my head teehee.

1015h, two hours and fifteen minutes later, i lost interest in the sunglasses, and have been reading lecture notes on the freaking IVLE for quite a while, sunglasses doubling up as a hairband now.

well, they finally made their way here at 1020. being the voiceless spineless twit that i am around my parents, i only managed a soft ' why so late', and got nothing but 'ok dy( as in the dy in the min-dy) arh we're going maxwell market for
hee sang (yu sheng in cantonese i think)' in return. but i aint complaining, because i rarely see my parents now, and i miss them even though i'd like to think i don't. \:
anyway after porridge and dough fritters and yusheng and ondeh-ondeh, we went in search of coffee and desserts! my parents are avid coffee drinkers, they are so particular about their caffine, i think even starbucks falls short of their expectations.
so we drove to this gorgeous place in chinatown for coffee.

i'm telling you, this is authentic coffee, strong stuff, every mouthful is rich and aromatic, and just the way my mummy likes it: scorching hot. the kaya butter toast is TO DIE FOR. this beats yakun kaya toast hands down!
however, this was the only sign hanging in the quaint coffeeshop... apparently the lasksa there is really good, but in my opinion, i'd go back there for the TOAST.
but anyway, the coffeeshop looked like something out of outschool colonial singapore, tucked in a quiet corner without any skyscrapers blocking out the skyline. it was one of the shophouses-lined street; and if you know me, you'd know i love quaint streets, outschool vintagey lifestyle.

by the way, my daddy took me on an impromptu tour of the street, going into the history of old chinatown. you see those numbers hanging on the shophouse units? these are brothels, and believe it or not, they have been in business since the 1950s/60s. the government legalised these places, and you now see these, well, brothels, side by side with boutique hotels like the chinatown hotel (: so now you know what wares these shophouses are hawking next time you pass by one of these!

ok my mum made me take a picture of that plant. she wants to know how they got it to grow so prettily. there were also plenty of chillout cafes along the street. they were all so unique and quirky i just know i would be going back there again pretty soon! anyone game to come along with me?
though the eclectic attic at PS is such a letdown, i am really enthusiastic about discovering new dine&chill places...

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WOOHOO (dawn i'm borrowing your phrase (: unlike someone else i am asking your permission haha!) dawn has taken PGP (prince george's park) by storm! these are the parts of dawn's room that just screams DAWN:

yup, dawn herself, and that little corner of her table, and of course the the clash poster she's got framed and leaning against the wall. dawnprawndawnded, sorry about that day though, we should try dinner again sometime.
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oh yes, pq and me brought jimi to the vet's, after we got cheated by the darn taxidriver, we were relieved to receive the vet's verdict : NO SCABBIES. the vet gave her a prevention shot though, and for the first time in the 6 months since jimi became a d-blocker, i heard her squeal. it's rather disturbing. and though jimi is pronounced healthy by the vet, she is now shedding her gray fur, and we are very very worried. \:
on a happier note, the visit to the vet's was so fun, because i love love love love dogs, even E.T lookalikes (yorkshire bull terrier over there with the protuding eyes and weird ears).
i want a dog i want a dog i want a dog!

ok here's jimi and pq (: jimi hendrix and proud hamster-owner PQ

aight. it's 4.04am, i am beat, i'll resume battle with FNA1002 tmr.
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you ain't gonna bother me
no more no how
love just goes so far no more
woke up this morning and found
i didn't care for you
no more not now
never felt so good before
you're down to my size
it's over and done
so honey, step down from your throne
that look in your eyes
don't bother me none
can take you or leave you alone
from my window skys ain't gray
no more not now
here's the day
that i've been waiting for
got only one heart one heart with no spares
must save it for loving
somebody who cares
so you ain't gonna bother me
no more, no more. madeleine peyroux
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she stepped aside, took the look from their face, and the troops will never again take their heart out. they sang in unison, in a comforting repetitive rumble. no more. no more.there you go, no more i say, no more. i deserve better they say.