Friday, November 25, 2005
Friday, November 25, 2005
well, those previous photos might not be very flattering. there. look at these, no one in their right mind can say they arent pretty.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005

pretty pretty hui. :) honestly, i cannot stop singing to the world my adoration for my sisters. sure they pretty much got all the good genes from my parents, such lookers the both of them, but that's not the reason why i adore them to pieces. we've come a long way together, and it's a silent but sturdy bond that binds us to one another. for those out there who dont know what i am talking about ( the true meaning of sisterhood) or who have yet experienced it in their lives; you poor, lacking things! unless you're an only child, then well...it cant be helped.
an eulogy to once-beens
once i looked at you with
nothing but pure adoration of your
spirit, annd saw nothing but a shining pure
aura beneath all your defensive smoky shadows
once i believed in your good and true
your genuinity just my perception and a deception
i believed to be real and unimaginary
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
try as i might, i cannot shrug off my indifference. perhaps in the deep recesses of my mind i recognise the symptoms, and once you've been put through this fever more than twice, you're numb and indifferent. so try as i might, i cant muster enough to feel. all i have is just a mild dislike at what i've got and what i see, and a horrid sense of detachment to it all.
i am just sick with a wild terror of losing you, yet indifferent to you all the same.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005

i am bored, and well, this speaks for itself. this is what i do when i am bored in my room. i have 145, and still counting, pictures of myself. narcissitc? of course, duh, find me a girl who doesnt care, to some extent, how she looks, and i'd give you my life savings.
anyway i am bored, i am bored mindless, i am so sick of studying i can't take it! remind me again why i have to do this? remind me again why i have to slog through studying something i absolutely abhor? why dont i just give up and go do an arts degree instead? right now i cant see past the haze of nausea and headache that has got me wrapped up so tightly i want to explode.
i am snapping at those who love me, being generally rude and demanding with those who care. why is it that those who love you always bear the brunt of your bad tempers and mood swings?
i am really bored now, so bored i need something new in mylife. i cant stop searching for something, looking for this missing piece in the puzzle of my life, the cherry that tops off the sundae, this essential ingredient i am convinced my life lacks. romance? i dont think so. love? i dont know. i do know one thing, the answer lies with Him, it's just that i have no idea how, what, and why.
i feel like a picture without a frame, a frame without a picture; either way i am incomplete.
i am so bored, i am even bored with you, you dont interest me no more.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
have you ever
woke up with a smile tugging at your lips
and a warm feeling in your tummy
and a delicious feeling of satisfaction...
no i should say, glorious satiation of
whatever it was you've wanted for a while :)
it's probably wrong; but we all do wrong things dont we
and it is those honest few who own up to their own feelings
who'd arive at this conclusion...
that nothing 'wrong' could ever feel this right
some say it's dangerous to live your life doing whatever makes you happy
without thinking about whether it is right or wrong to do so
but i think, seriously, why cant i do something to make myself happy when it
doesnt hurt anything, or anyone?
life is short, i'd rather be happy, than forever worry about whether i am right or wrong, i'd rather just go through life without regrets.
the battle was half-fought, half-won, and the troops felt a cause for celebration. as the camp reverbrated with raucous laughter of the troops, the flashing lights of the campfires, lit, this time, for the purpose of drink and make merry, transformed the faces of the troops. she sat back and watched the play, sweet victory stirring in her depths, and without realising, her tinkling laughter tumbled from within her, rose in the air, mingling with the sound of the troops in victory.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Sunday, November 13, 2005
"why are you wasting your time with this kindof shit
if you dont do as well as you could have done then
you can just go and fuck spiders already la"yes, that's - favourtite expression : go fuck spiders
i'm so blessed. lucky for me there're always people in my life, who've along the way lent me a helping hand emotionally, when i needed wise words to, according to them, "wake up my idea". i appreciate all that and i treasure every gem of advice they've dropped in my lap. these baubles are precious, and i will carry them around with me always.
au revoir mille baises schweetie. i am going to miss you :)
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
hey y'all, it doesnt matter anymore.
hey you
k's, just want to say i'm sorry, i guess it was something i did, something i said, the way i behaved that you're treating me like that now; i do hope, someday, you'd see i've changed.
hey you
sr, remember how i said you'd never hurt me? because it's true, you never did, and never will; all i meant for me was to be someone in your life who could help you see. only you refused these glasses i hand to you in all my sincerity.
hey you
cbgs, you sad sad girls, sooner or later, you'd understand how you girls just won't work, i will sit here months from now, looking at you thinking to myself how glad i didn't fit in
hey
you, i'm letting the troops take over; they'll know what to do, they'll protect me, i know that to be true. bye
you , i found something i was always looking for in you, but well, there's only so much a girl can do.
they surged to the front, glad to be free! they were given the go ahead, the freedom to do as they wish, plunder and pillage all that is in their path. they are monsters, in a feeding frenzy, they are machines, devoid of feelings, they were cold heartless and vicious in their moment of madness. she sat back and smiled, she was glad she gave the go ahead when she did; this time there is no turning back; victory may still be within their grasp!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
over the weekend, i woke up early one night to get my usual dose of mtv.
whoever said mtv was trash? mtv is insightful / enriching too you know.
dirtylittlesecrets caught this mtv and thought it really interesting, and well, meaningful. we all have our dirty little secrets dont we.
here's some featured in the mtv
'i pee in the sink and i like doing it'
'i am only with her so i can get her sister'
'i slept with her mom'
'i feel like a loser everytime i put food in my mouth'
'i love only two of my three children'
'i shoplift even though i am rich enough to buy whatever i want'
' i lie, cheat, deceive and manipulate'
'i really hate people who remind me of myself'
'i cheated at the sats and now i am on a scholarship because of that'
'i burn things and i get a kick out of doing it'
'i am married, with a lovely wife and two kids and still engage in sex with male escorts'
'i slept with a friend'
haha there you go,
dirtylittlesecretssome from the mtv, some i made up, some are mine
have fun figuring them out
have more fun: share with me your
dirtylittlesecretsthen you'll knowfor sure, that i love you for you, want you for you, like you for you, know you for you.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Thursday, November 03, 2005
this is going to be easy to read.
the shuffle is on, so i don't quite know what song i will get next. i don't like this feeling, but i am gettin used to it. to not knowing what i will get, to not knowing what is going on in my life.
there are somethings in life i can control though, so i am trying my best to get what i can control, under my control.
it's funny how i am numb these days, responding only to a certain smell(yes darling you), certain smiles, you know, the occasional nice-ness some people dole outfuck that all. i miss you, i wish you were here to help me make sense of this all.