Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
this christmas:
:) sarah's back, met up with friends, gorged myself silly, baked cookies, had a heart-to-heart with (one of ) the most important person in my life (i'm sorry i'll make things better, i promise!)
:( :( :( :( my baby is GONE GONE GONE!
:( :( :( :(
i am trying to be as optimistic as possible. everytime anything gets me down, i would recite to myself a whole list of things i should be thankful for and by the time i get to how i am thankful for the general well-being of my close friends and family, i generally feel better, secure in the knowledge that some things are just not worth my angst or sorrow.
this christmas however, it's tougher to convince myself to be thankful. but, but, i am trying and well, that's all that counts!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Thursday, December 15, 2005
'on a closet affair'
indecisiveness takes on a whole new meaning when physical pleasure collides head on with emotional gratification. the intertwining of the two in a whirlwind of confusion, laced with that little bit of flavourful happiness, calls to mind a shaken margarita.
1 1/2 oz
Tequila (physical pleasure)
1/2 oz
Triple sec (emotional gratification)
1 oz
Lime juice (happiness)
Salt (flavour)
Mixing instructions:
Rub rim of cocktail glass with lime juice, dip rim in salt. Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into the salt-rimmed glass, and serve.
flavourful happniess, salty and sour, exactly the opposite of what we'd all envisioned happiness would be. for what everybody is searching for, ultimately happiness and peace within ourselves, is never initially a sweet affair. the sweet only comes later. this is why, as confusion and indecisiveness clogs the mind and numbs the senses, one day it would be realised that the ultimate search, is but for that sour savoury taste of of life, packed with an oomph to the right places at the right time, just like what a well-shaken margarita does to you.
ack i missed out one collage while blogging last night here it is!
kat looks especially good in these photos so i've got to put them up
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005

we headed to orchard today for a dose of WickedWednesday!
Wicked Wednesday, by our definition, is a day of window shopping, alas, without much money, trying on everything while photo-whoring, stuffing our faces with fried snacks and well, of doing absurd silly things (true for me not for kat) and of being happy(true for the both of us)!

at 'everyone is beautiful', i decided i needed outrageous pink outfits to go with my PLPC (pretty lil' pink cap), and kat, not the sort to fool around, decided to go for the 'british-india' (not quite haha!) look..
we ended up looking real cool huh, or at least i thought that was a hot outfit, BUT i KNOW kat looked good LAH!


she loves the dress! yeah so here's photos of that dress, keep on drooling kat!

remember my quest for outrageous pink outfits?
haha YUUUUCCCKKK. i'm still fooling around trying on stupid things!
so, brazilian blue or polka-dots?

cute doll, it reminds me of monkster!
we discovered the pretty candies at some quaint shop in fareast, it's from australia!
i suspects it's the ROC brand from Perth; the shop just repackaged it. babbyy i should have got it for you!


great buys of the day! i love ztamp!
money can't buy everything, but look at our happy faces! look! definitely moolah well spent :)
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
moon river wider than a mile
i'm crossing you in style someday
oh dream maker, you heart breaker
where ever you're going, im going your way
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thursdays
ivp bball training in the morning, rush off for handball straight afterwards
dnd mkting meeting in the afternoon
rush back bathe change late late tea/lunch
back to hall short 45 mins break
change rush for hockey training
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as i trudged back to my room, the echoes of my weary footsteps lingering in the empty desolute corridor of the secluded, no, abandoned D block second floor, i am thinking, brain in powersave mode, weighing the pros and cons of having my entire december hols spent this way, every tuesdays and thursdays hectic crazy days.
oh wait there's trainings on mondays and wednesdays and fridays too! *makes a mental note: dont forget touch rug and ivp bball trainings*
so you see i am trudging and i am thinking and i am tired and hungry and sunburnt and aching, and lonely and missing you and all the while i'm trying to convince myself there is a point to all that i put myself through : -
1) i need the points to stay come next sem
2) i need to get to know people in hall
3) hall life is as exciting as uni life gets
4) exercising keeps you healthy; makes you lose weight; look slimmer equals prettier
5) or else what? ROT AT HOME?! (never an option for me)
yet as good as and as numerous are the pros, i dont feel very good about myself right now. ): i like doing things that make me feel good about myself.
i think everyone is constantly doing things to make them feel good about themselves.
this mentality breeds hypocrisy; think about it, why are people hypocritical? it might be born out of pure bitchiness or just twofaced scheming, but more often than not, normal people are prone to hypocrisy because they are not willing to come right out and acknowledge the fact that they just dont like some things, or someone for no reason at all! some might say doing so is just being judgemental, but then again who is NEVER judgmental or not judgmental to even the smallest extent? objectivity and unbiasness are unattainable principles and values! if you're not judgemental to the extent of being presumptous or prudish then i dont think there is anything wrong with formulating an opinion of others, or some issue, or whatever it is, based on what you sense (by that i mean all five senses, including the sixth one, intuition!). if you want to keep your opinions or your impressions to yourself, there's no harm in doing so, and in fact, it is better that one keep their opinions and impressions to themselves anyway. besides there's no written rule about how you have to voice them opinions and impressions.
what pains me is that there are people, whether ill-intentioned or not, who chose to enforce, for themselves, and others, that we must never form first impressions, that we must refrain from JUDGING, from forming opinions of people, things and issues within seconds of encountering them, and hence from coming to conclusions based on what we sense!!! !!!!!!!
in short: we humans have a habit of doing things in order to feel good about ourselves, and in enforcing the erroneous belief that we do not and should not JUDGE, we feel better about ourselves even though we are all, by nature, closet judgmentalists.
which leads me to what i always advocate : human nature reigns supreme
i believe in the bestial nature of human beings. i believe underneath our civlised exterior, we are all primitive animals, naked savages, only now clothed with scientific/ technological advancements and a more complex social fabric. there are some just some behavioural instincts, that will never go away, and would never fade with time, no matter how developed or advanced we become. when you strip away all of man's scientific and technological advancements, he is in no way different from what he was before.
yet making sweeping statements like the above can hardly bring anyone round to my point of view. unless we human beings are put to a test, or an experiment, can one then finally know for sure. or if i read widely enough, i might adequately convince you with relevant readings and research findings that what i believe in is TRUE. but well, remember how i'll be burning the dec hols on insane useless pointless trainings and hall activities?? hardly any time for doing such things eh?
but that aside, i say human nature reigns supreme; it is human nature, basic instinct, that we form impressions and opinions hence judge people and things we know naught about!
however, doing things to make yourself feel better about yourself, is a habit that can be kicked once you make sure you're constantly aware of why you chose to do what you do.
NO i am not saying you cannot, in all circumstances do things to make yourself feel better about yourself (hello tell me who can quit retail therapy?!), what i am saying is that there are some things, which you do to make yourself feel better, that are just not......well...."right", for want of a better word (argh my head aches now from the idea of attempting to define what's "right")
well some examples of "not-right"/"wrong":
telling yourself you dont form judgments when you know you do = hypocrisy
giving to charity cause you've been naughty lately = doing the right things for the wrong reasons
.
.
.
.
.
yeah i dont feel very good about myself right now, lucky for me i know how to make myself feel good, i need a whining session! i need to whine about how life is just so aimless, and how i am going no where both academically and non-academically (by this i mean my social life, or the lack of one) and how i miss you. generally how life is just one whole big fucking unfair pain in my arse.
but then again lucky for me i know i am just whining, i dont mean what i say. if there be closet judgmentalists out there, i'd say i'm a closet, quote dawn, prude. if there ever was one word i'd never use to describe myself, it will probably be "prude" i am NOT a PRUDE as -you- *wink* would know, i can be very naughty and raunchy when i feel ike it... but then i dont think dawn the innocent virginal prawn meant what i thought she meant when she labelled me (and -you-too) a prude! haha i would explain what she really meant, but i've had a Tiring Thursday, even my fingers protest any further usage.
conclusions (i love conclusions):
1) hah-ree-bac-imish-ewww
2) i wrap up my ramblings this way all the time : that there is NEVER a conclusion to all the thoughts racing through my mind!
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two drifters,
out to see the world
there's such a lot of world to see
we're after the same rainbows
and waiting around the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
moonriver and me.